Where art thou, that love that once was mine?
I feel you still within me
ALIVE like the pounding of my heart
And yet, where are those sensual pleasures and connection I long for?
In the city, one can often feel alone, people bustling to and fro
Where are we really going? Does anyone know?
So many men and so little time, I once heard myself say
To conquer or be conquered I have learned is not the way
There is such lack of meaning in so much of what we do
Superficiality, pretension, competition
Who are we really? Why do we do what we do?
My heart is like a well which runneth over
I have so much to give, so give is what I do, yet my love eludes me, as I long to know him ever-more
Is it so wrong to desire the touch, smell, taste, and feel of my special friend?
I know as you beat within my heart, that one day we will meet again
For you I am ready to receive, to give, to nurture, to caress, to grow with
For you and no one else, my sweet
I live in faith, readiness, and love until we meet again.
Hello! I’d like to tell you a little bit about myself and my inspiration for starting this blog. I grew up in a foster home in Vancouver, Canada and was born to a schizophrenic mother and a father I’ve never known. During my teenage years and early twenties, I often felt lonely and I longed for deep family connection. My unhappiness and loneliness periodically manifested in emotional eating as I attempted to fill my inner void with comforting foods.
At 23 years of age, I met a handsome, young man while backpacking in Europe. Later that year, I moved to Los Angeles, married him and became a U.S. citizen. Shortly after we married, there were inquiries about grandchildren from my in-laws, but I wasn’t ready for that. I had a hole inside of me and I needed to figure out what was missing.
After a life-changing (psilocybin-induced) mystical experience in Joshua Tree, California, I followed my heart and left my husband. I read numerous spiritual and self-help books, I cried a lot as it felt like I had undergone a death, and I was a patient of network chiropractic work and acupuncture to help facilitate my own healing process.
Over the past twenty years, my focus has been on my healing and spiritual growth, as I built a life. In 2003, I moved to Las Vegas, where I bought and furnished my own brand new house, and I worked my way up to six figure corporate jobs in the hospitality industry.
I had accolades, income, and status, but a few years ago I experienced adrenal fatigue and burnout, coupled with a longing to get into work that is more spiritually gratifying. Simultaneously, I felt a longing to connect with a spiritual tribe. Once again my heart (and body) was speaking to me and it was time to make some changes.
I returned to school full-time and reduced work to part-time. In July 2017, I graduated Cum Laude from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas with a BA in psychology. Summer 2017, I started writing a monthly health and wellness blog for the National United States Bartender’s Guild (www.usbg.org). In the Fall of 2017, I begin graduate school as my goal is to become a Doctor of Oriental Medicine (OMD) and open my own health and wellness practice. Here I am, bravely choosing to reinvent my life in my late forties.
I know that everything happens for a reason and that the universe provides experiences and opportunities to help facilitate our growth. However, it’s up to each of us whether or not we choose to listen and act upon our inner stirrings and life’s outer promptings. It is also up to each of us whether we blame the world for our adversities and circumstances, or we become more resilient and strengthened by them.
I’ve noticed my life become more harmonious (with less drama), as I’ve consistently chosen to nurture my soul’s higher purpose. Today, I feel an inner peace and connection as I consciously live from this awareness. Whether you call it God, Source, Brahman or Great Spirit, there is a power that I’m tapping into and it feels wonderful!
I feel inspired to share what I’ve learned through this blog and hopefully, others who read it will learn something and perhaps find some inspiration, solace, and even some healing for themselves. That is my hope, anyway. After all, life is an experiential journey and a process which guides us into deeper levels of BEING, awareness, and love.
(As a disclaimer, I wish to note that this blog’s contents are not meant to be a substitute for diagnosis and treatment by authorized medical professionals.)
There is a right time and season for everything in our universe.
The wise, intuitive person literally seizes an opportunity as it approaches.
The unwise, unintuitive person could be hit over the head with the same opportunity, at the same right time, and not see for he knows not. This man wonders, “Why does my life suck?” “Why do these things always happen to me?”
For the unwise, unintuitive person, the metaphorical glass of life is perceived as half empty or lacking. Due to subconscious belief patterns, he unknowingly manifests negative experiences, which reinforces his beliefs, pessimism, and subsequent perceptions.
For the wise, intuitive person, the glass is optimistically half full; full of potentiality, full of promise, with gratitude for what is and excitement for what can be. He perceives life as an ever-unfolding adventure, as he welcomes each new day.
Becoming wise and intuitive is beneficial as it opens one’s heart, one’s mind, and ultimately one’s life.
Wisdom is innate or cultivated over time from our experiences. Through awareness, daily gratitude, positivity, participation, loving yourself, loving/serving others as yourself, and listening to that “little voice within” called intuition, we actively work towards gaining more wisdom.
Our perceptions shift and evolve as we do.